To See

You can't see it very well, but those little people at the bottom of that arch are me and Eli.  And, that, is Delicate Arch in Arches National Park.

A couple of weeks ago, I visited Arches National Park with my father, mother and three youngest children.  The first day I got there, my father, me and my two younger boys jumped in my dads jeep and headed to Arches.  As we entered, I was so blown away by the beauty of this arid, dry, red land.  It was amazing with the sunset enhancing the reds and browns of the rocks.  The sky was gorgeous, silhouetting the rocks with blue and white puffy clouds.  I felt as if it was the first time I had seen this landscape.   It was breathtaking.

Awhile ago, I sat in an all women's church meeting and enjoyed listening to a young mother explain an interesting concept.  She said that when she first moved to Albuquerque she noticed so many beautiful things about it. She noticed the gorgeous sunsets, the pretty Sandia Mountains sitting to the East, the arid beauty of the desert and the mild weather and temperatures.  She wondered why now she had to search for that same beauty after living here for many years.  The beauty was not as readily available to her.  She had to take time to notice.  It wasn't that the environment around her changed, but her eye and soul had found the beauty harder to see because of its familiarity.

I wonder why this happens.  It reminds me of the first day I arrived in Japan.  It would be our home for three years.  Everything was new and different.  I took it all in.  All of it.  There were different smells, different colors, different people, different clothing--everything was different. There was so much to see and experience...and I knew my time was limited. It felt like I never lost my ability to see everything like it was the first time the entire three years I spent there.  Somehow, I did it.  Was it because I knew it was limited?

 I recently was reminded of a beautiful article written by Helen Keller titled "Three Days to See."  I love this essay and was first introduced to it in a college humanities class.  She says the following:

At times my heart cries out with longing to see all these things.  If I can get so much pleasure from mere touch, how much more beauty must be revealed by sight.  Yet, those who have eyes apparently see little.  The panorama of color and action which fills the world is taken for granted.  It is human, perhaps, to appreciate little that which have and to long for that which we have not, but it is a great pity that in the world of light the gift of sight is used only as a mere convenience rather than as a means of adding fullness to life.

Truthfully, I want to find pleasure in everything that I see.  Everything.  I'm not sure how to do this.  Sometimes I drive in my car and know that there is a beautiful sunset, but can only see the nasty telephone/electric wires hung by the roadside.  This morning, my husband pointed out a gorgeous sunrise to my teenagers as they jumped in their car and drove to school.  They were grumbling that he was making them stop, look and notice.  Later that morning, I told my husband that one of those teenagers had posted a picture to Instagram saying "ABQ sunrise nailed it this morning!"  We both giggled, recognizing that the forced moment to notice made a difference in this child's day.

I love the poetry of Carol Lynn Pearson.  I think she captures the sense of noticing and savoring very well in this poem:

Perspective From Mortality
My life is patterned as the palm
Of a rain-washed leaf, calm
Cut and full.
But I view my life from underneath
Which--like the patterned leaf--
Is fuzzed and dull.

I hope that I may live with an ability to stop and notice.  I want to be surprised by the sunrise and the mountains that have become part of my daily scenery.  I want each beautiful thing I see to feel like it is the first time I had the privilege of seeing it.

You need to write.....

I'm not sure what this post is all about, other than, for weeks I have been getting a strong impression that I need to write on this blog again.  And, the impression will not go away.  It all started on a bright winter day when I took our dog (yes, we have a dog!) on a walk while the kiddos were all at school.  I get impressions now and then, but this was different...and it struck me deep to my soul.  YOU NEED TO WRITE MORE!

People, I'm not a writer.  I'm good at math.  I'm mediocre at cooking.  I sew straight lines.  I do many things better than write.  But, I have learned that when a prompting from the spirit comes. I. Should. Listen.

And, so, I'm writing.  The funny thing is...since that time...every single day, I have had things come to my mind, just random things, that I should write about.  My guess...perhaps someday an ancestor of mine will come upon these weak, failed writings and learn a bit more about crazy great, great grandma Kristine.  And, if that is really the reason, then that makes me happy.  I mean, really, who even reads blogs anymore.  Well, my husband does!  So I guess that is one reader I will have.

So, my friends of the blogging world, after a long vacation. I'm back.  I'm committed and I will write.  Dang it, I will write.

The Eagle Project, Take 1

When you have 4 boys, and your are LDS, and you participate in the scouting program....YOU SPEND PERHAPS MORE TIME THAN YOU WANT thinking about scouting.  So, it is which much enthusiasm (and a little exhaustion) that I announce that Noah has finished his project, and will soon be an Eagle Scout.

Noah has played the cello since he was 5.  He has been part of the Albuquerque Youth Symphony program off and on since 5th grade.  So, it was a perfect fit that the AYS building needed some service done.  He cleaned up the back lot behind the building, put in a fence, laid cement to help with the drainage and did some painting.  All in all it was fantastic.  He organized over 75 people, got cement donated and learned a whole lot along the way.

BEFORE

cement getting delivered

TEAM WORK

THE AUGER, EVERY MANS DREAM MACHINE

AFTER

Noah's first cello teacher, Sato-san.  He was a great fit for a little boy....they would have light saber wars with their bows. Can't believe this kid will be 15 in a few days.  How time flies!

Grandpa and Grandma are on a mission!

Eden walked around for a few days singing that catchy Janeen Brady song,
"Grandpa and Grandma are going away on a mission!"
And, they made it to the Lima Peru South Mission! Yippee....

Elder and Sister Alkema

Love the missionary tags....it's official

We had a great visit with them over face-time and they showed us the view of the city from the mission office.  Now....it's time to start planning a trip to Peru.

Joy School Graduation

This may just be the cutest group of kids ever. At least the cutest 4ish year olds. I love how N is jumping with his cap. Hilarious.

Happy Mother's Day, 2013

The gift is not what I was given today, but what I hold dearly in my arms everyday.  So very blessed.

Just had to throw this one in...I love her wispy hair, her party dress and the over the top flower. Today we celebrate womanhood.  Oh, daughter, today I think of what this life and world holds for you.

Dreams...

So, for whatever reason, I'm in the mood for writing.

My husband, who I obviously adore, just sent me a link to this article.  Do you ever read an article and think....holy cow, did that person just read my mind?  Because, honestly, my husband knows me so, so well and knew I would very much agree with what the author had to say.

So dreams...I've perhaps spent too much time thinking about what people have to say about dreams.  It's just that the world's view on dreams I find very distorting, and not very eternal. This, of course, is my opinion, but this is after all my blog-- so I'm not asking you to agree or even read this. It just feels good to write about it.

I realize that many "worldly" dreams require hard work, determination and skill.  They also deserve a good bit of admiration.  And, pursing those dreams can be a righteous choice.  Equally, I believe eternal dreams deserve admiration as well. In fact, I think these types of dreams should be celebrated, talked about and encouraged.

 *I have many gifted, talented friends who realized that their dreams of pursuing education and their dreams of having a large family did not always go hand in hand. So, they chose the latter. They chose to be home with their children.
*Likewise, I have friends who work full time and juggle a family, knowing that this is an important balance for them and their family. And I know single moms who do it all. Impressive.
*I have friends that get terribly sick when they are pregnant, but still, have a dream of large family...so they go through months of sickness-- terrible, agonizing sickness-- to fulfill a dream of a large family.
* I have a friend who has a dream of helping others and giving of her time, talents and  money....which means that she doesn't live in the biggest house, drive a fancy car and buy designer clothes.  She fulfills this amazing dream every single day of her life.  And, I want to be like her...not going to lie.  She is amazing.
* I have a another friend who is extremely wealthy and could have a big home and nice things...but, she instead shares her wealth and every single last talent she possesses to helping her church community and those people she associates with.  Now, this is something to celebrate.
* I know a father who is one of the most talented, smart people I know and could have pursued any career, worked long hours and made $$$$$$, but instead chooses to be very present in his children's life, realizing that money and "success" do not equal happiness.

I notice that I'm very quick to tell someone that I like their outfit, or what a nice car they drive, or what a beautiful house they have.  But, honestly, those things just do not matter.  Not at all.  I truly believe that when we pass from this life, and we have the opportunity to look back on what we have done with our time, money and talents....boy, oh boy, what will we think?  What will I think?  What will I think about the dreams I pursued, and the kinds of people and actions I celebrated?

I just hope I'm always chasing the RIGHT DREAM!

A 4 Year Old's Birthday

Is there a better way to celebrate 4 years of an adorable daughter....

than with a tea party?

The Birthday Girl:

 Talking on the phone with G &G:

 The Set-up

 The Guests:

 The Food:

And there are 80 more photos.  It was an amazing day.

I enjoyed every moment planning the party.

What a blessing this little girl is.

What a blessing.

Things...

*Life is really wonderful.  I've really noticed the good in my life lately and how incredibly blessed I am.  It's all in the noticing.

*Last night D and I were still awake at 11pm and decided to take a walk in the newly, fresh falling snow. It was magical.  It was beautiful.  It was peaceful.  Thanks for the spontaneous idea D.

*I love watching my children, N and G, perform in orchestra and choir.  Seriously so much fun.  N is getting so good on his cello....which he puts a lot of work into, waking himself up early every morning to practice. And, Gabe rocks the show choir.  Seriously had no idea how much fun that kind of stuff was.  And, where he gets his confidence on stage....who knows?!?

*Having a dog is not as bad as I thought it would be.  Our dog Daphne has officially become part of the family.  She is adorable.

*Loved attending a fireside where the Imam from the local Islamic Center spoke about Islam.  It brought back many memories of our study abroad at the BYU Jerusalem Center.  I've always had an appreciation for this faith and find Muslims to be kind, good, faithful people.  I'll never forget the first night we slept in Jerusalem and hearing the call to prayer.  It's such a beautiful ritual.

*I've been doing yoga regularly for 1 year now.  I feel like I'm trying to convert everyone around me to this form of exercise.  Not really, but kind of.  It's honestly been one of the most amazing things I've ever done for myself.  No pressure.

A Christmas Story

I love reading Christmas stories.
There seem to be so many sweet reminders of the Christmas season all around us if we only take time to notice and see.

My mind has been drifting to Christmas's past.  There are so many warm and fun memories of my childhood and married life.  One that sticks out in my mind is the first Christmas we spent in Japan, alone with no family.  I was determined to make it special, setting traditions that would continue for years to come.  I started prepping, decorating the home, buying presents, formulating the Christmas Eve dinner.

It was a few days before Christmas, rain was pouring down.  I was on base waiting for Derek to pick me up at the commissary.  He was late.  I waited, and waited.  Finally, he called.  A taxi driver had ran into the side of our van.  And, Derek wasn't feeling good, a little sick.  He had to stand in the rain to work things out with the police officer and the taxi driver who did not speak any English.  Oh man, how could this happen?  Not good timing.

Our poor car...notice the drivers wheel is on the left side.

We worked out the car situation and finally made it home to our little Japanese-style house.  Derek was getting more and more sick.  High fevers, chills, cold sweats.  This was not good.  He headed to bed.

The next morning Derek was worse. We took him to the base hospital.  He had pneumonia.  What?!?. This was our Christmas.  The one that would set the precedence for all to come.  And, Derek was out of commission.  It was on me now.

Christmas Eve came, I slaved away making an amazing fondu dinner.  I prepared tons of food. Decorated the table, set the food out, called everyone to dinner.  I was the only one who ate.  Noah and Gabe (ages 4 and 2) were not too interested in the food.  Derek had not appetite, just another high fever.  I was exhausted after hours of work.  I wanted to cry.  This was not what I imagined it would be.  I was sad, and a little angry.

Christmas PJ's

We danced around the Christmas tree singing carols and opened up pajamas and one present.  Then I tucked them in.  I wondered, is this what it is like as a mother? Feeling tired, overwhelmed and depleted on Christmas Eve?  I wanted to be a child again, taking in the wonders of Christmas time and wondering if I would hear reindeer on the roof.

I went to bed with a heart that was heavy and three sizes too small.

The next morning, the kids awoke with excited smiles and enthusiasm.  We headed down the stairs to our little sitting room that was full of gifts that Santa left.  Derek, still very sick, made his way down the stairs too.

sick Derek, he lost 15 pounds that Christmas.

Noah and Gabe jumped with joy.  Their smiles and laughter filled the home.  And, somehow my heart softened.  I noticed the nativity that was purchased in Bethlehem years earlier.  I thought of the Savior, His example of service, love and giving.  And, I realized that I had only been thinking of me.  Too busy trying to make the holidays perfect, that I forgot what Christmas was all about.  I surely missed out on the joy of the season, and I had soured it for myself.  I vowed to never let that happen again.   I soaked in the rest of the day.  No longer angry at Derek for being sick, no longer disappointed for a failed Christmas Eve dinner.  Just very grateful for a forgiving Heavenly Father, and His loving son Jesus Christ.

Christmas Morning

The Christmas season is still busy.  And, I still don't get everything done that I want to.  And, things don't always go according to plan. But, whenever I look back to our first Christmas alone, I have feelings of gratitude for a lesson learned and for a season that is about what we give, and not what we receive.  And, for the reminder of our Savior Jesus Christ, for His humble birth and perfect example.

Holiday Newsletter, 2012

After today...

only three more sundays of 1pm church.  but, whose counting?

And, a little more of our life....

note the neighbor girl left for Eli

maybe the best canned pears ever.

last swim of the season.

Eden helping Grandpa pick some apples at uncle R's apple orchard.

The apples were amazing.

why i'm so sure it was worth having #1 and #5

out to eat downtown ABQ.  

S and E's first trip to disneyland.

she really wanted to see ariel.  and, it happened.

devouring a turkey leg. oh my.

playing at the beach.

E's karate moves.

The bumper sticker we proudly displayed (and it drove most of our friends crazy:}

the bulletin board i made for g's room with his old t-shirts.

G sleeping in his new room for the first time.

N sleeping in his new room for the first time.

enjoying halloween candy.

3rd halloween costume.

getting ready for thanksgiving and our 25 guests. it looked so beautiful when it was all done.

cutest girl alive. 

just some family shopping.  

what i found on both my teenagers bedroom doors. clever.

my incredibly awesome wolf den. they are so much fun.